Please continue to keep sharing this website with your friends and family and help me share this story with people that could benefit from knowing they aren’t alone. Please consider helping aclottedjourney.com also, see below for details on that! Enjoy Part 24 of my story, A Vulnerable Life!

When you see how fragile and delicate life can be, all else fades into the background.

Jenna Morasca

Thank you so very much for being patient while I continue to write this story down. I always want to give you quality product and the matter of the fact is, it takes me a while. Also, I have been preparing for my opportunity to go to Italy! Fun fact actually, part of this is being written at about 35,000 feet above the Atlantic Ocean. As you can imagine I have a difficult time sleeping while I know the altitude and my possible health condition could be at play, So, lucky all of my readers, in between my standing up breaks to try and avoid a clot you will benefit from getting the next part of my journey, hopefully. Some of this one was written here and before.

So, we left off last at that very sad morning after sending off one of my closest friends for school in the military. I was down to say the least, I mean, COVID had already started to hate on my social life, but now I was losing one of the people that made it bearable. That morning I sulked around my house. Getting my glass of water, probably getting my cup of Folgers, it was still super early. DING! I got a loud alert from my phone. I couldn’t believe who was texting me, Megan Pierre. She asked how I was doing, and I was honest. I told her I was bummed. Next thing you know, she was on her way over to bring me some coffee and baked goods from her favorite bakery. She told me she was bringing her puppy, Aldo, and maybe we could take them for a walk or something after we enjoyed some coffee.

WHAT? WHAT THE HECK? Was this not that amazing girl that just let me down gently months before? I was skeptical and tried to hide my “little kid at Christmas” excitement thinking that this would be anything more than just her trying to cheer me up. I went into it thinking I have no idea what is going through her head. My second thought was, “Wow, all it took was getting Mowgli and here is my dream girl coming to my house for a walk”. My roommate and great friend Brandon could tell how giddy I was. Him and his girlfriend at the time were hearing all about it as I tried and undrink the coffee in my mind so I could enjoy more when she got over to my house in Byron.

To this day, one of the most special memories that I have in this world is seeing that Jeep Patriot pull up with the most beautiful human being inside of it with one of the worlds coolest dogs sticking his nose out the window. As long as I am on this earth, I want to remember this. This is the memory that I hope leaves my brain last on this planet. This is the thought that makes me hopeful in all the darkness to this very day. With all of the hell and darkness that this world can throw at us, there is always something beautiful enough to make it all go away on the journey. Small moments like this are ones to hold on to. I walked up to her car and tried to help carry something, and I was just absolutely blown away by the unreal beauty standing in front of me. I knew that she was an angel, but I could have never told you how that day would have played out at that point in time standing in my driveway.

We went inside and enjoyed that coffee and pastries. I’m a sucker for any type of pastry. Basically, I am a sucker for food, but that is beside the point. She entered that day with a huge brownie point already is what I am saying. All of the conversation at this point was strictly surface level. She was what seemed like just a nice person trying to give me a pick-me-up on a day I was feeling not so great. Coffee done, now the walk with the two best puppies in the world.

On the walk everything changed, we both were digging for more and more information about the other and we were seriously liking what we were finding. I mean I can preach day after day that I was getting convinced of liking Megan, but I was always smitten for that girl. She had it all. What was at first supposed to be a small walk, turned into a long walk. That long walk turned into us sitting in my back yard and talking all afternoon. Wow, what a refreshing thing. We just clicked and kept talking more and more. The conversation started becoming flirty towards the end of the day and I just couldn’t hold back that excitement anymore, I hoped that I would get more opportunities to woo this girl. She was everything I wanted and although she had turned me down before, I knew it couldn’t hurt to cautiously proceed and continue talking. We talked about everything under the sun. We talked about my lack of having a fence in my backyard, we talked about all of my neighbors giving us looks like they thought the neighbor kid actually had a girlfriend now., we talked about a ton. To be honest with you though, the only part of that day that I can concretely remember is how perfect she was. That thought overshadows it all.

An interesting thing that I discovered during all of this, feeling vulnerable again and feeling proud enough to see myself as a suitor for this lovely lady, made me feel whole again. As Michael Scott would say in “The Office”, I was ready to get hurt again. The thought that she would turn me down again terrified me, but there is something special about being vulnerable. The clot that still lie waiting within my gut reminded and reminds me often to this day that I could have my life taken from me at any moment. This feeling of being alive again though started renewing my sense of pride in my life. A sense of pride that I was afraid of losing again. If I hadn’t had that death ball spawn in my spleen, I would’ve reserved myself because of fear. Having that clot made me realize that I had nothing to lose. My pride was naked, and I had to face any situation that asked courage of Alex with broad shoulders. I knew what it felt like to have no time left. If my time here ended at any moment, I wanted to be proud of the man I was.

So very excited to tell you the next part of my story, the next I heard from Megan after she and Aldo left my house that day.

I apologize for the slight delay in this part of my story coming out! Since I have gotten back from Italy, I tested positive for COVID-19 and it hit me very hard. Slowly but surely, I am going through pictures and memories, I will be glad to share all of it soon. I will get to work on this, been holding a lot lately…

Thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart for all of your support!

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